Literally, Yours....

By me.

Strangers on a Train...

(inspired by a recent train journey when I was sat next to a lovely man, who is a drummer in a band!)

You'll go your way,

I'll go mine.

But for a brief moment,

We share some time.

No hidden agenda,

No expectations.

Just two strangers

Making conversation.

Whatever track you take,

Whatever dreams you make,

You've touched my life!

I have my goals,

You have your wife....

I hope that whatever gives you pleasure,

Will help you create

Good memories to treasure!

We're going forward,

But we're facing back,

But God only knows

We are on the right track!

Create some sounds

Upon the drums.

I'll write lyrics
While I hum.

Train of Thought (for Matt)

My heart beats like a drum,

Steady, then faster!

Then slows on down

To a rhythm,

That tells a story

Of how two strangers meet.

As the wheels grind metal

On a backward facing journey.

Different destinations.

Similar hesitations.

Beating in time,
Creating a rhyme.

Feel the kick,

Beat those sticks.

Get on a train

That takes you onwards.

Vision...

My vision may be failing

With worse to still yet come,

But at least I will always have memories

Of blue sky, sea and sun.

Of watching rock musicians

Performing on the stage,

Of writing words for songs,

While I can still see the page.

I will try to not be downhearted,

But it looks like the day will come,

When the world will look so fuzzy

That my struggle will really begin...

I have to use this time

To get my feelings out,

And share my thoughts with others,

And rid myself of doubt.

I've always been creative,

And full of inspiration.

I long to make a name for myself

And share my new creations.

I realise there are people
With far more woes than me,

Who manage to live a happy life

Who can't hear or speak or see...

I'm glad to have my hearing,

My gift of speech and chatter,

But most of all my ability

To love is what most matters.

No one can ever take away

The uniqueness that is me,

God made me so that I could become

A person with a special energy,
To convey emotions,

And touch a person's soul.

This journey isn't over,

It's the start, and I thank you all

For love, support and friendship,

I don't know what lies ahead

I only know that I've been told

And that does fill me with dread...

There are no guarantees in life,

Sometimes we get a curved ball.

We can decided to catch it

And run, or let it fall.

Whatever happens with my sight,

No one can take away

The vision that is inside of me,

And my willingness to pray.

Things happen for a reason,

Though it's hard to sometimes see

Why I should have to be alone

And have my sight taken from me.

Deep breath, fear not is what I hear,

For light comes in many forms.

I'll hold your hand and comfort you

Through the rain and wind and storms.

If my world should end in darkness,

I will find a way to be

The person with the words to write,

And create a symphony.

© Susan Lumb 2018

Only the dead lay sleeping

Fast moving scenes flash past me,

The world goes on outside..

And I'm here alone, my friend,

Trying to decide

Which track to take, what move to make

That will not dent my pride...
We just can't seem to find a smooth path,

Too many thorns and broken glass.

Yet here I sit with you on my mind,

Can't forget you,

Glad I met you, cannot lose you,

Am trying hard to find
The words I've been keeping

Inside, they've been sleeping

Like the dead in their graves..

Don't bury the love

What use is it there.

Only the dead lay sleeping...
Only the dead lay sleeping

My heart is wide awake.

My soul knows love

But don't want to make a mistake.

Shall I cover the grave

And walk away

Shall my heart live to see

Another day.

I could put you on a pedestal

I could keep my distance...

I could watch you from afar

And battle with resistance.

Maybe it's safer to leave you up there,

I will crawl away, weeping.

Shall I take a chance

And start to dance

Or leave my heart, like the dead,

Forever sleeping.

Copywright Susan Lumb 2017

OUT OF FOCUS

Stinging, red eyes stare at the bottom of the glass,

The nicotine stains on workman hands,
Snowy hair, parchment skin

And a spider web of lines...

Silence fills the air,

Too tired to do anymore than stare

At the dregs of the drink

That helps to stop thinking,

And takes him to a place

Where his ship's not sinking,

Otherwise, lost,

Without a raft to cling to.

So this downcast man

Grabs onto a can,

And pours out his heart

Into the glass

That threatens to shatter,

Like his childhood dreams,

That all seemed

To disappear when she left,

And ever since, bereft.

What's next for me? I'm all at sea!

I'm drowning and there's nothing left for me...

As he takes another swig he sees a picture,
A reminder of times when life was much better.

Before these crimes of self abuse and neglect.

What can he expect,

Now he has done all this harm?

Kaleidoscope of rainbows, ground made of quicksand,

But no one to take his hand

And pull him out.

Whichever way he goes, It's dark, and he thinks he knows

He is the only one to become undone.

As dawn breaks, he knows he has made another mistake.
The crushed empty cans

Symbolising his life, And the stains, The pains, The premature ageing.. Wilting like a flower,

With it's eyes screwed up tight. It's lost the fight.

Stop battling!!

Get up and find the answers to life,

That don't come from

Staring into a glass

Or treacle coating the lungs

Til the very last Breath.

Live.

Give yourself

OPEN MY EYES

I've looked without seeing,

I've heard without listening,

I've spoken the words

That have no meaning.
I've walked along straight paths

And across the desert,

Down a helter skelter

That leads to nowhere.
The mists of time

Get foggier still,

Can't focus well,

I need a pill

To help me see

Reality.
Remove the blinkers

That are blinding me
Need to open, open, open my eyes!

And rid myself of this disguise,

Because I'm not the brave girl people see,

I'm trapped inside and long to be
Alive.
The fakeness darkens every cloud.

I'm scared to speak my thoughts aloud.

Too scared to let the real me out,

She's trapped inside and wants to shout.
But is the darkness here just in my mind?

If I escape, will I then find

The truth is there and sunny skies.

GO BACK IN TIME...

I shouldn't be alone
How has it come to this?
My needs and wants engulf me
Making me want to scream out loud..

I'm here, someone find me
And take away this pain,
I want to go back in time
And relive my life again.
So I can have a chance
To get it right
And not be staring into the dark,
And alone every night.

Where did I go wrong?
What is wrong with me?
Am I so unlovable?
And unable to find the one to save me...

I'm here, someone find me
And take away this pain,
I want to go back in time
And relive my life again
To start over, a new day,
To find the one
Who can calm my fears,
And turn my face to the sun.

I've given more than I can give,
I'm screaming loud inside!
I cannot bear to live this life
Without someone by my side!
Help me now.....
Someone help me now.

I'm here, just take me back in time,
So I can find the one
Who can turn this dark to light,
And save me from the long, long, lonely nights....

Reflections

Literally, Yours....

By me.